You tell her stepdaughter that she doesn’t have to call him ‘dad.’ Now Mrs. “Cursed”

A man turned to the Reddit community for support after a hearty parenting dilemma shook up his mixed family.

“I married my wife five years ago,” the 40-year-old writes in His post. “She has a daughter, ‘Ava’, from a previous marriage. Her biological father is in her life and lives nearby.”

Over the years, the poster’s relationship with AVA, now 14, has become strong and genuine. “Ava and I are close, video games, projects, dad jokes, the whole thing,” he shares.

At home, Ava usually calls him “dad”, a habit that developed without anyone asking her. “Of course, it started over the years,” he explains. But the dynamic shifts when she is around her biological father or alone with her mother. “She switches back to my first name,” he says. “No big deal.”

What is a big deal, however, is his wife’s reaction to that change. “My wife is constantly barking her and says” he is your dad too “and pushes her to call me” dad “all the time, even when I’m not nearby,” he writes.

He has talked about it before and tries to protect the confidence he has built with AVA. “Forcing it destroying the band we have,” he told his wife.

Still, the pressure does not stop, and the tensions arose after AVA recently returned from a visit with her biological father. “Last week Ava came home from a visit with his Bio-Dad and looked really uncomfortable,” he shares.

To feel something was wrong, he checked in with her. “She said her mother screamed at her in the car because I called me by my name.”

Moved by AVA’s discomfort, he offered her a moment of assurance. “So I told AVA: ‘You never have to call me dad when you don’t want to. It doesn’t change how much I care about you. You have to decide.’ ”

But his wife heard the conversation and became furious. “She was cursed,” he writes. “She said I” undermined “her parenting and now Ava will think it’s okay to” choose and choose parents. ”

Even with the relapse, he stands by his words. “I don’t want AVA to feel pressured,” he says. “My wife thinks I enable emotional distance.”

At Reddit, commentators quickly offered empathy and encouragement.

“Your wife’s approach can push away Ava instead of bringing her closer,” wrote a user. “It is important for her to feel comfortable in her own relationship with you, without the pressure on what to call you.”

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Another user emphasized AVA’s emotional insight. “She’s 14. She knows who you are for her.” They continued to praise how AVA balances both relationships. “If she chose to call you Dad? Fantastic. But if she calls you with your name when with Bio Dad? Fantastic – she is emotionally mature enough to realize that Bio Dad would be affected by hearing it.”

Comments point to the strength of the stepfather’s band with AVA. “She knows you are in a sufficiently strong relationship that you know how she feels for you, whatever she calls you.”

In the end, his story struck a chord with many navigated in the complexity of mixed families. The overwhelming support he received serves as a reminder that sometimes the best way to love a child is to give them the freedom to choose what that love looks like.