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In a viral Tiktok, 33-year-old Yasmeen Messrie shares her unique experience of growing up with parents who are significantly older than her comrades.
Her father was 50 years old when she was born, which created an age gap that shaped her childhood and continues to affect her life today. Given her early years, Messrie says that she did not really consider the ages for her parents until she went to school.
“When I was really young, I thought it was normal,” Messrie tells People exclusively. “It met when I was in class two or three and I could see a physical, visible difference between my friends parents and my dad and my mom.”
“My dad looks visibly older,” she continues. “He looked like he was my grandfather at that time, and my friends parents looked like they were in the 30s and 40s – they looked young and healthy.”
When Messrie entered his teens, the challenges of having older parents became more pronounced. High School brought a series of medical problems for its parents, including operations and chronic conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure. Messrie and her three siblings were often regularly visiting doctors and hospitals. Her mother died when she was 19 years old.
Despite these challenges, Messrie emphasizes several benefits to having older parents. She describes them as calmer and more emotionally mature, which she believes comes from their life experiences. “Their temperament is much more relaxed,” she notes. “I am what you consider a young parent. I had my children when I was 25 and 27, and I feel that I went through a lot at the same time as having children. ”
Yasmeen Messrie
“So my children would see the emotional mountain and the roller coaster to have your own life changes and to have children at the same time,” continues Messrie, leaving, “while for my parents … There was no massive life changes for them.”
While Messrie is unsure of her exact motives for having children later in life, her parents married late, “she shares.” My mother got married in the 30s, and my dad was in the 40s and then in Afghanistan where they “re from it was quite late to have children and get married -they were also much more into their career and education.”
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When her father ages, Messrie finds herself to take on a caretaker. “I have always felt that he was terrifying and delicate since I was young, and so I’ve always had this extra feeling of worry and protection over him,” she shares. This sense of responsibility led to her moving her father with her when he could no longer live alone. Eventually he demanded 24/7 care and was placed in a nursing home.
The experience of growing up with older parents has influenced Messries’s attitude towards parenting and her own health. “It is very important to me that my children do not have to deal with medical things with me that I had to handle it,” she explains. “I’m trying to be a very high energy mom, because I didn’t really get it from my parents because of their age and lifestyle.”
Yasmeen Messrie
Despite the struggle with having older parents, Messrie will remember what has been most important in her life: her mother and father were great parents. “It doesn’t matter how old you are when you have children,” she shares. “That means what kind of parent you are while you have them.”
By sharing his story, Messrie hopes to encourage those who are considering parenting later in life.
“As long as you will be a loving, really caring parent, it really shouldn’t mean how old you are when you have children,” she says.