Woman says she’s too old to buy a friend $150 worth of perfume for her birthday

As we move through adulthood, the way we celebrate birthdays has inevitably changed. Gone are the days of themed parties and carefully selected gift lists.

Now, more often than not, they are replaced by casual dinners, drinks and thoughtful gestures.

But what happens when a friend in their 30s still wants gifts—and not just any gifts, but a specific wish list of high-end items?

A Reddit user facing this dilemma recently took to the platform to share insights about his friend’s upcoming 33rd birthday.

“We went to Sephora the other day and she said she wanted to smell perfume so people would know what to get her for her birthday,” she explained in a post.

While the birthday girl clearly enjoys fragrances, the poster questioned whether it’s appropriate to make such specific — and expensive — requests as an adult.

“Idk, something about having a wish list at this age for people to buy doesn’t sit right with me,” she admitted.

Their group of friends usually celebrate in a low-key, modest way. “We pick up each other’s tabs, give gift cards but nothing too crazy,” the user revealed.

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So when her friend brought up the idea of ​​receiving perfumes that cost between $150 and $250, it created an internal conflict.

Some might argue that wish lists take the guesswork out of gifts and ensure the recipient gets something they really want. But to the Reddit poster, it feels more transactional than thoughtful.

The poster noted that if it had been “my decision, like oh, I think she’s going to like this perfume, let me get this for her birthday,” she would have happily done it because it was driven by inspiration rather than obligation.

The real fight, however, seems to be less about money and more about expectations. “I can be a bad friend :/ but at the same time… I just feel like I’m past the age of birthday or Christmas requests outside of my husband,” she emphasized.

Hoping to help the original poster with her dilemma, a few commenters suggested various solutions, with one writing, “Coming in as a group is a solid move, but if that’s not feasible, a $25-$50 Sephora gift card is also a good solo option.”

Another commenter put it plainly, reminding everyone that love for a friend doesn’t always match what’s financially feasible.

“I adore my best friend, but I can’t afford to give her a gift more than about $30,” they wrote. “If I were to buy her a perfume, it would probably be a sample size at most.”