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A woman is in violation of her husband after telling him that he does not get “credit” for parenting his two young children.
The woman, a full-time nurse, explained at Reddit that she and her husband have a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old.
“I do most of the household work, meal planning, school forms, birthday presents and emotional work that comes with keeping small people alive and running a household,” she writes.
While her husband is a “loving” and “gentle” father, he is just willing to help “when asked,” she writes.
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“I still have to say things like: ‘Can you get the kids dressed? Can you put them to bed tonight? Can you take them out so I can get 30 minutes to myself without climbing?'” She shares.
When she raised these questions to her husband, he became “defensive”, responding, “I help, I gave them a bath last night, right?”
While the woman told him she “appreciated it,” she noted that “” to help “didn’t really help when I had to assign it as a task.”
“If I am still a manager and he is just waiting for instructions, it’s not as parenting,” she adds.
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Her husband “got really hurt” and told her she made him feel like a “bad father”, insisted that he was trying to do his best.
The woman told him that she does not “need perfection” but rather “needs initiative.” Still, her husband told her that it was “a really hard way to put it” and has been “cold” for her ever since.
While the woman asked Redditors if she was wrong, people validated in the comment episode her feelings and noted that her husband had to get up and help more.
“The truth hurts. If you have to assign him information, you have another child … It doesn’t take a genius to know if your wife works and does the majority at home, she is tired,” wrote a person. “Paloma Faith once said if you see a woman in your household do the same act every day, day after day. It means the action must be done, and you should not have to be asked to do so because it is exhausting in itself. Delegation is also a task.”
“By saying that he helps, he already shouts with his whole chest that he thinks it is your responsibility,” commented on another person. “You don’t want his help. You want his partnership in responsibility.”