The woman fears that her in -laws hate her because of lack of visits

A mother is worried about her relationship with her daughter -in -law.

On Monday June 23 Mumsnet post Explains why she is convinced that her daughter -in -law “hates” her. She said it has been months since they last saw each other and even it was just because her in -laws and son visited Christmas.

“I just don’t know if we expect too much and think she should visit more when (our) son does,” the mother wrote.

“No children yet, but I suspect in the very near future and I am already upset to think about how little she wants the children to visit,” she added.

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Mom asked the commentators to share how often their children’s spouses visit and whether they expect them to always meet.

“Talk like a dil (daughter -in -law), when my pils (in -laws) were in good health, we used to visit them as a family (me and DH (dear husband) and our DC (dear child)) once every couple of months,” wrote a person. “Then a file died 18 months ago and miles is in poor health and needs more support. So now DH goes more often than we used to, but usually on my own. In the same way I do most of the time when it comes to supporting my parents.”

Another commented, “I was in a relationship with or married DH for 12 years before his mother died. I never met her, even when we lived 90 minutes away and DH went to visit. I finally met his father last year (parents were still together).”

A third said: “I like my mile very much. I don’t go every time my DH goes (live in the same city) but do often and she also comes to us. I am not possession of the children so if he wants to take them and I can not go/want to do something else, it is good. The same thing goes for my mom.”

Share practical advice, another wrote: “She doesn’t have to like you, I’m afraid. As long as she is not actually rude to you, you can’t complain. She may not actively dislike you, you just may not be her type of person. Not nag her or your son if you don’t want to see him less than you do.”

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Several answers to the post asked the mother if she had any other reasons why her in -laws may hate her other than the lack of visit.

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The mother commented that she has never been invited to her son and daughter -in -law because they are always “busy.”

“I was always closest to DS (dear son) because he lived with me the longest! No longer. I don’t treat the others differently, if something DS was the child!” Mom wrote. “I’m closer to my second dil because they invite me and I can go and stay the weekend with them, it’s not my fault.

“It was a less confusion about something before they got married which was my fault and I took responsibility for but I know she has taken it as a reason to hate me,” the mother continued. “She didn’t care about me before, but only used it as a reason.

“When DS lived with me, she would show up all the time and be very talkative and spend ages and talk to me. As soon as he moved out, she just bred longer,” she added.