The bride says the groom’s mother is angry because he wants to change his last name

A bride has taken to the Internet to ask for advice on one tense future in-laws situation.

The woman described her story in “Am I unreasonable?” forum on UK-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women can go to seek advice on interpersonal dilemmas. In the post, the bride-to-be shared that she and her partner have been together for six years and are getting married next summer.

She went on to say that her partner has never liked his last name and that it “resulted in lots of teased at school” when he was a child. Because of this, she said, he decided he wanted to take her last name when they were married.

“This is entirely his opinion, not mine forced upon him. I was happy to take his name,” OP (the original poster) added.

But she said her fiance’s mother went “ballistic” when he shared the plan, saying the OP had “poisoned” her son against his own family. The older woman then also accused the OP’s family of put “pressure” on her son, because “he has never mentioned this to her before now.”

“He’s now thinking of going back on everything to (…) keep his mother happy, but I have to admit that now (having discussed this option) I think it’s the right decision,” she continued.

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“Should I tell her to back off? Should I encourage my partner and support him in telling her to back off?” OP asked at the end of her post.

A number of commenters told the OP that she and her fiance should just ignore his mom and do whatever they want.

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“She’s right to feel upset (even if it’s a bit ridiculous really), but totally unreasonable to react that way. Just ignore her and do what you want. It’s not surprising that she might think it’s unusual because it probably was unusual in its day. But so what?” one person said.

Another person said they thought it was important for the OP and her partner to stand their ground.

“I think you will all be much happier if he tells his mother that he is an adult and will make his own decisions. If she gets a say now, or if she knows she has power over him, she will most likely be a nightmare in the future.”

Others said that OP should care less about how her mother-in-law reacted and more care about how her future husband responded to the reaction.

“Your partner needs to decide who takes priority in his life … his future wife or his mother,” one person wrote.

“I’d be more concerned about marrying a hottie who lets his fiancee take the blame for his decision (…),” agreed someone else.