Here’s what three real military spouses want you to know

Many understand the hard work, courage and selflessness that the members of the military devote themselves to their service.

But not many people understand the extent of the victim that their spouses do behind the scenes to support the service members they love. In honor of the military spouse, the day of estimate on May 9, people spoke with some military spouses about the invisible fights they face.

“We take the role of maintaining equilibrium in the middle of war,” said Allison Goodrich, whose husband has served in Marine Corps for 17 years.

Military spouses have the task of handling “the mental burden on war,” Goodrich said. She described the anxiety to handle a household while controlling the news and wondered if their husband is safe.

“When you see the news, whether it is battle, a tragic aviation crash or whispers of what is coming, was the first person to absorbed the news a military husband,” Goodrich said.

“The fear of knocking at the door,” as Kristy Willis called it, associations on top of the stress of running a household alone. Willis’ husband has served the army’s special operation command for 24 years.

“We have seen this happen to them and have grown these losses, which makes fear even more relevant and constantly known,” Willis said.

And even at a more daily level, these spouses often raise families alone for long times, often in a new or unknown place where they do not have built -in networks.

This applies to Katie Moore, whose husband, Nick, has served in the Navy for 20 years. They have been stationed on the east coast throughout Nick’s service, 3,000 miles from their family.

This isolation is not uncommon for military spouses, and it can put them in difficult situations – such as putting a new neighbor as an emergency contact on their children’s school forms.

“In any other circumstance I would never place a complete stranger in such an important form,” Moore said. “But when you are a military spouse, isolated from family and support system, is sometimes a name, whatever name, is your only option.”

Other military spouses are constantly moving around, which makes it difficult to put down roots anywhere.

“Always having to live in constant transition has been difficult for me,” Willis said.

But these unchanging circumstances do not prevent military spouses from taking responsibility for their own lives.

“Military spouses run their homes, communities, small businesses and the US classroom,” Willis said. “There is so much more for these women than most people take the time to see.”

Goodrich, Willis and Moore have all sought the support from Station FoundationWho supports not only members of the special operating forces when they reintegrate themselves back to civilian life, but also to their families.

“I saw the need from the first place in my own home. And when I finally lifted my head and looked around, I realized that I was not alone.” said Shannon Stacy, program director at the Station Foundation. Stacy founded the organization with its husband, who served in the special forces.

Stacy found that there was no room for military spouses to share their stories, especially those whose partners were in the special forces.

“The situations they have lived through – things that most people never have to meet – remain buried. Imagine being in their twenties and helping your friend choosing an urn for her husband who did not come home,” Stacy said. “The emotional tolls go deep.”

In addition to support for influencing programs such as the station, there are many ways to help a military spouse in your life.

“You can invite a military family for breakfast during a deployment, plan an outdoor movie night with your neighbors, offer to change childcare for an afternoon so that a military spouse can come to a while, drop flowers on a holiday, offer the children a trip to school, take a meal, cut your neighbor’s lagers, or bring the trash,” Goodrich.

Small but meaningful ways to thank them in the military and their spouses for their service.