One breaks up with fiancé after sudden heart change over sharing a last name

A man at Reddit wonders if he is wrong to be upset his hubby will not consider sharing the same last name after they have tied the knot.

On one post At Reddits R/Amioverreacting -forum, the man explains that his hubby recently made it clear that she had no intentions to take his last name after their wedding – and also opposed the idea that he took her.

“At one point, I was joking something to the effect of” We will see about the future wife (my last name) “and she was visibly butt,” he writes in the post. “She told me she won’t be” Mrs. (my last name) “And I said” okay, then I’ll be Mr. (her last name) “Because I don’t really care if she takes my name or I take her. I just want to share one. She said” No, I hold my name and you can keep yours. “

The 28-year-old poster then asked what surname their child would have, which she insisted on they would bear her last name, because she is the mother. The man’s hubby also shot down his idea to attach his last name.

“For the context, I grew up in fetal care after both my parents died. I had no other biological family so I bounced from home to home from ages 5-18, when I aged,” he explains.

“I never felt welcome in any of these foster homes and never felt that I had a real family. I always swore that I would have a real family one day,” he continues. “So of course I want to share a last name with my wife and our children. I really don’t care about which name. My, her, a new one we both choose, it doesn’t matter to me. I just want a real family that I feel connected to.”

He further explained that he was a little confused about her sudden heart change, because she had never expressed her disgust over the idea of ​​sharing a last name during their three years of dating. Although he tried to approach the subject again, she said that she “does not want to discuss it further”, leaving him to question whether it would be wrong to end their relationship over it.

On one Follow -up itemThe user explains that he asked his hubby to meet in a park to talk more in the hope of getting some clarity. Unfortunately, things did not go well.

“My friend was with me, but waited in my car so he would not be discovered. But I decided to turn on the voice recorder on my phone because she has previously manipulated her story about certain situations to make it seem like she is innocent,” he starts the post. “I’m overlooked earlier, because I thought she was just used to getting her way. Now I realize it was a mistake on my part.”

When the couple sat down to discuss the matter, he explained his reasoning to want to share the same surname and emphasized his previous family relationships as the main reason. In response “she rolled her eyes” and explained that she did not want to share a last name because it is “So Cringey.”

“I asked her to elaborate it. She went into a whole rant about how she thinks it is cheese -like when she meets a couple and they introduce herself as” _____ “and that it makes her want to throw up when she hears it, and so many other ways it makes her angry,” he continues.

“When I raised the fact that her parents have the same last name because they are married, she said” it’s different “and I” would not understand because of being an orphan “who really threw me.”

He then prayed his fiancé for a time to think about things, even though he writes: “I know the relationship (is) over but I have not officially made the break yet.”

“It will hurt for a long time, but I know what I need to do for my own mental health,” he continues. “I can compromise with some things, but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t compromise too.”

In a final update A few days later, the poster confirmed that he “finished the commitment”, which did not go very well with his hubby, who bombed his phone with hundreds of texts and conversations.

“She refuses to give the ring back because she thinks I will” come to my senses “and she will keep it until then,” he writes. “I don’t even care. She may have it.”

“Her friends and family started calling me within 15 minutes after I quit things. I have blocked them all since they are nasty for me and blame me for everything,” he adds. “Judging by what they say, it seems like she made a story that I had a mental health crisis and want to be alone.”

The poster ended by saying that he is “emotionally exhausted” and “hopes she leaves (him) alone” so that he “can heal from everything over time.”