The woman worried about “strings attached” by letting the mother -in -law pay for ivf

One woman says that her mother-in-law offers to pay for vitro fertilization, but she is worried about accepting for fear of what will be expected in return.

In a post that is shared to Redditshe writes: “My partner and I got married later in life, and now, in the 40s, we are trying to get pregnant. We are currently considering IVF. Financially, we do well and live comfortably on our revenue, but IVF is undeniably expensive.”

“My husband suggested that we might need to ask his mother for financial help to support our IVF trip,” she continues. “My immediate response was an absolute no.”

While her husband thinks she “is too proud by refusing help,” the woman notes that her relationship with her mother is at best.

“Here’s a little context: My mile has been difficult from the beginning,” she writes in the post. “She has treated me like a rival for her son’s love and attention. I didn’t even have the wedding I wanted because I knew she would do it about her. She still supports my husband’s siblings with big purchases – cars, houses – you’re called it. But it’s always with strings. Money is her tool for control.”

The woman adds that she has “worked hard to establish boundaries” and has long “maintained low contact.”

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“My gut tells me that accepting her money will come at a cost – emotional, psychological and maybe even parents,” she writes. “I am afraid that she will see it as buying access to our IVF trip and future children. I can already imagine that she insists on updates, knowing the details of every success or failure, the due date, the gender – things that should be private between my partner and me.”

Now she is looking for input from the internet and asks: “Are I wrong to refuse financial help, knowing that it can limit the number of IVF cycles we can afford and possibly reduce our chances of becoming parents? Or do I have the right to draw a fixed limit now – to protect my future nuclear family from disturbances and control?”

Other Reddit users recommend the woman not to accept financial assistance.

“She will definitely use this for control at any time. If you have money for IVF, it’s a no-brainer,” wrote a commentator.

Added another: “She will think it’s her child if she helps financially.”