Boyfriend’s grandmother requires donation, woman says no

A woman turns to Reddit for support after her boyfriend’s grandmother began to repeatedly ask – and then demanding – money from her.

She refers to her boyfriend as Alex and his grandmother as Carol to post the family’s dynamics. Carol initiated a church collection and asked each family member to donate an amount determined by doubled their shoe size.

The poster shares in Her post“Shortly after we met first, he told me that his grandmother and his mother tend to ask for money a lot.”

She has seen this pattern from first and foremost and notes that “it is also not chump’s change”, and that her boyfriend “works hard but still has her own bills to pay and worry about and try to have some savings account.”

She and Alex recently reviewed their budget and focused on repayment of debts and construction savings, leaving some room for unexpected expenses. “I personally planned my check to the last, like $ 20 which was a buffer from check to check after all our other obligations have been met,” she explains.

The timing of Carol’s request could not have been worse, because the poster says: “I really did not have the donation amount. I am not in the industry to go into my personal savings for something similar.”

Given the frequency of these requests, she drew a limit: “I told Alex that I would not participate in any of the collectors they do and would also not have money on them because our/my money is our/my company, not theirs.”

Despite her clear attitude, Carol has remained for over a month and escalated from praying to demanding. “That’s the principle behind it,” she writes. “You can ask, but after you have received your answer … Do you have your answer.”

The situation has become increasingly uncomfortable, with Carol involving other family members in the group Facetime calls that the poster refuses to answer.

“She called Alex and argued with him to give me the phone for this money,” she says, but credits Alex for turning it off immediately.

Yet she worries that if she does not take up Carol herself, “it will turn into a whole thing.” The poster is stuck in her position: “In summary I am not participating, and no is a complete meaning.” She also objects to Carol’s approach and says: “I do not agree that she voluntarily worked with my money for something she did not drove me either. It’s just not cool.”

The poster questions whether it would be inappropriate to reach Carol directly and ask her to stop. “I don’t feel comfortable with her demanding money from me even if it’s for a good thing,” she insists.

She emphasizes that she is already contributing to her own society and is not heartless, but “it is really just the principle behind it and the fact that she does not take any answer from him.”