The woman saw messages in partner’s all-man group chat, now unsure what one would do

• The woman says she is “upset” and “unsure” after seeing messages from an all-guy’s group chat in which her partner is.
• The woman, who detailed her story on a British-based community website mumsnet, says her partner used “some really inappropriate terms” when discussing some of her friends.
• Community members were shared by how the woman would handle the situation.

One woman says she is “upset” and “unsure” after seeing messages from her partner’s all-man group chat, and she now wonders if she should confront him.

The woman detailed her story in “Am I unreasonable?” Forum on the British-based community site Mosnet, where women can go to seek advice from other women. In her post, the woman shared that she has a close friend who is currently going through a “tough time” with her partner.

She says her friend “recently had suspicions” that her partner was unbelief, and then she ended up secretly through her boyfriend’s lyrics. The original poster (OP) says that while her friend did not Find proof of cheatingShe found some outrageous messages in an All-Guy’s group chat-as OP’s partner is a member.

OP says her friend took pictures of some of the messages and then texted them to her, which is how she finally learned that her partner “used some really inappropriate terms when discussing other women, including members of our broader Väng Group.”

She says that in one of the messages, her partner wrote that he “would not ride her in battle” when he talked about a woman in their circle. In another text he wrote that another woman they feel “must be an S — shag because I have never known anyone with such a body to be single for so long.”

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“Am I saying something?” The woman asked her members in society. She added: “It will possibly give away that my friend have snooping on her partner and I don’t want to cause any problems for her. But at the same time, (I am) really upset about how my (partner) described my two friends. ”

The answers were mixed as to whether OP would confront her partner about the private messages she saw.

“I have some private chats with my best friends at WhatsApp (…) who can be sow. Maybe they go too far … But it’s all meaningless, just a little fun. (Your friend) snooping (…) and then pulls you into her marital misery, is much worse,” wrote a person.

“Leave it,” someone else said. “Your friend was wrong to sniff in that chat and she causes drama by telling you (…). Don’t police his actions with his friends. You will encounter as controlling.”

Others, however, said they would feel compelled to say something – and that the texts can even be a business switch for them.

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“I would confront him. Some women would not care, but you obviously do. Fwiw (for what it is worth) that would give me the big ick that I am not sure I could come back from,” said a person, “it is bleak.”

“It gives you a little interesting insight into how your partner sees women … It would definitely change how I saw my partner TBH,” added someone else.

Another person said, “I’m really shocked by the people who say leave it – I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone talking about women in such an obnoxious way.”