The woman is hurting her partner taking her adult daughter to wedding instead of her

• A woman says her partner in three years plans to take her adult daughter to a family wedding instead of her
• The woman, who shared her story on a British-based community site, says she is “very injured” by his decision
• The woman now wonders if she would make her feelings known or “graciously go aside” in this situation

A woman says she is “very injured” that her partner in three years has invited his adult daughter of a wedding Instead of her – and she now asks others if she would “graciously stand aside” or make her feelings known.

The woman detailed her situation at “Am I unreasonable?” Forum on the British community side mumsnet.com, a place where people can seek advice on interpersonal dilemma. In her post, the woman explained that both she and her partner have grown children – but that they have clearly different parental styles.

“My children know that they are loved and supported but raised with boundaries and boundaries,” she wrote before she admitted that her partner’s 22-year-old daughter “is somewhat abandoned and had (still) a privileged lifestyle.”

“My (partner) had her late in life and she is, understandable, the apple in his eye, and has been taken up to quite have what she wants,” continued the original poster (OP).

In addition, OP said that her partner’s daughter is currently refusing to talk to her or participate in features with her because she heard OP Call her “spoiled.”

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“She did not come to his (her father’s) 60th birthday celebration because she had a friend’s 21st party the same day,” the woman explained. “And when he suggested celebrating her birthday the following weekend, she said she couldn’t go skiing – paid by him. He then took her away to celebrate his birthday on a subsequent weekend and while he was gone he called me upset to say they had argued when she called him worthless.”

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OP says she didn’t know she Be on a speakerphone When her partner called to complain about her daughter’s behavior, which is how daughter heard her “understandable” harmful comment.

OP shared that because of the incident, her partner’s daughter refused to participate in a family Christmas party last holiday season because OP was there, and so she did not see much of her large family.

Now OP’s partner has been invited to a family wedding and he has suggested to take his daughter instead of OP to “make up” because she missed seeing some family members During the holidays.

“I feel very injured that he has suggested this because I feel she could have joined us at Christmas,” Op wrote. “But I understand that my words were harmful to her and that it is difficult for her to see me with her dad after that.”

The woman ended her post by asking others if she is unreasonable for wanting her partner to “stand up” to her daughter and take her – his partner – to the wedding.

Opinions were shared over the best action for OP – although many comments agreed that they doubt that her partner’s relationship with his daughter will change, and thus OP should evaluate if she is okay with it.

“I would be annoyed if my partner did not see me by default” plus one “when there were invitations,” said a person and added, “I would also re -evaluate the relationship, full stop. It sounds like this man is afraid of his daughter and unwilling to Put all healthy limits on to her behavior. It would really care and I would lose my respect for him. ”

Another person wrote: “His parenting style and his relationship with his daughter will not change, so I would not focus too much on this wedding … and (instead) think if you want to stay in the relationship and handle this forever.”

However, the same person also noted that there is a chance that the man’s daughter – as well as her relationship with OP – could change and develop over time.

“Of course, she can still ripen a bit over the next few years and improve,” they wrote. “22 is still quite young, and people grow up a bit between saying 20 and 30.”