The woman does not want boyfriend to suggest with her mother’s ring

One woman says that her boyfriend wants to suggest with her mother’s ring – but she is not proud of the idea.

The 25-year-old woman detailed dilemma in a post on RedditExplains that she and her boyfriend have recently talked about being engaged. When the conversation came up on Christmas in December, the boyfriend’s mother told the couple that she has a ring given to her by her boyfriend’s father and she would like to forward it to her son as an engagement ring for his future hubby.

The woman was originally open to the friendly offer, especially because she realizes that the ring has sentimental significance for her boyfriend and his mother. She explained, “(his) father died very suddenly last year, so I know it must have taken a lot for her to offer this ring.”

But when his mother later sent the couple a photo of the ring, her thoughts changed.

“Now doesn’t make me wrong – the ring is nice, but it’s something I would never choose for myself and I’ve been dreaming about my engagement ring for several years,” she wrote. “I explained this to my boyfriend and he said we could always look at getting a wedding band to dress it up a bit and make it something I like.”

“It would be good to have this ring because it has such a sentimental value and that means my boyfriend does not have to pay for an engagement ring,” she reasoned. “It would honestly not care if he gets the ring for free, and I know that the ring itself is expensive because there are like 7 diamonds on it. But I just can’t shake the feeling that I won’t love my commitment call.”

She finished her post by asking colleagues Redditors if she is “The A ——” so as not to have her boyfriend’s mother’s ring as her engagement ring.

In the comment section, many sympathized with the woman’s concern that the ring does not feel like hers.

“It is understandable that you want an engagement ring that feels special and personal to you,” Read a comment. “While the ring from your boyfriend’s mother has sentimental value, it is important that you feel excited and linked to the symbol of your commitment. It is okay to express your preferences without feeling guilty, especially since you have dreamed of your own engagement ring in several years. ”

They added: “Communication is the key here – talk to your boyfriend and his mother with respect about your feelings.”

Another Reddit user agreed to write, “No, you wouldn’t be (A ——). An engagement ring is something you wear for life. If you don’t like it, it will always continue gnawing on you . ”

Others wondered if the woman could find a compromise and consider restoring the ring or redesign. “Would you consider resetting the ring in a style you want?” One person asked, while another chimered, “would your mile and bf be injured if you got the ring melted and reworked to something you like better? – It can be a compromise and still cheaper than a new ring.”

However, the woman replied that updating the ring was not an option. “I have suggested it but she does not want the ring to change and I respect it completely,” she wrote.

A small minority accused the woman of being “hard” and dismissing her boyfriend and the future mother -in -law’s emotional connection to the ring. “It is important to consider the sentimentality and importance behind his mother who offers her ring,” wrote a person and suggested, “Maybe you can find a way to integrate both the ring and your dream ring into a beautiful part.”